With hilarious clips like these, who needs an episode of SNL hosted by talentless douchebags?

After a few years of forgetting about SNL I started to TiVo this season’s episodes. My decision was based largely because I was curious about how they would handle the presidential primaries (which they’ve done a fairly excellent job thus far). The other reason was cause I’m a sucker for not-so-subtle marketing hype. When the lame writers’ strike finally ended a few weeks back, I admit I fell for the NBC hype machine which made the first post-writers’ strike live TV come off like television that would guarantee a vision of an earth shattering orgasm.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a little about the passion behind the hype machine. Maybe I wanted to believe what I wanted to believe. Maybe I just NEEDED to believe in something. Anything.

Anyway this new season of SNL has been a great new Sunday afternoon, hang-over distraction for me thus far (curse you, brain development that comes with maturity and education! Curse you for taking away my previous blind joy of vegging out to a Laguna Beach marathon on MTV! Curse you, good taste! Curse you, conscience!)

So I was mortified to see that this week’s episode was hosted by this brain-dead half-wit. It’s like, I friggin’ already have a HUGE HEADACHE from the vodka the night before, I really don’t need this assmunch doing the technological equivalent to my Asian designed, but probably third world nation assembled, HDTV.

Now to be fair, I have to admit I have yet to meet this kid and I really don’t want to waste too much virtual ink on him. But I refuse to offer any props or respect to some dillhole who thinks he somehow created Candid Camera or TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes to an audience too young to realize the obviously blatant rip-off.

Okay, I don’t even know if that’s true or not. The fact is that I just don’t like him. And if dozens of high school girls could so blindly and coldly reject me in the past for a little high school belly pudge, I too can blindly and coldly reject this douche for the brain equivalent of the same thing! But I got the last laugh cause I lost the weight. YOU HEAR ME, PAST HIGH SCHOOL CRUSHES!! I LOST THE WEIGHT!

I lost the weight.

And I found the hot, spicy and charming inner me.

Ahem.

Where was I?

Oh right.

The point is, this week’s SNL sucked a dozen Rocky Mountain Oysters. If you haven’t seen it yet, don’t bother. If you’ve got it TiVo’d, delete it immediately before it infects your machine. The series of clips below are way more worth your valuable time.

Two words: genius. Make that seven words.

cap

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